I did. And I do. Recently, I talked about marriage with a group of journalism students from my alma mater, Kent State University. They came to me for career advice, which I gave them, but I also picked their brains about politics, religion and marriage. Their views on marriage intrigued me the most. 'Cause, guess what? They don't care what your generation thinks -- they'll get married if and when they want. "I didn't go to college for four years to be a mom," 21-year old Candace Monacelli told me. "There's no housewife degree. I've worked my butt off for four years to get this degree. You want to use it. You want to be successful. You want to have that happy part of your life as well." Jackie Demate, also 21, agreed. "I would have a very hard time justifying spending $20,000 on a wedding when I could go to Europe." At first I thought Jackie was kidding. So jokingly, I responded, "Wow, some people would say, with that attitude, you are undermining the moral foundation of this country!" Jackie didn't blink. "But, Europe!" she exclaimed. "I'm really looking for a travel buddy. And I don't think you need a wedding ring to prove that you love someone. I see a lot of people get married too soon or stay together and are unhappy because they are afraid to be alone. And I would rather be alone, successful and happy than in a relationship where I'm not happy. ... I'm OK being single forever. As long as I'm happy." Before you berate Jackie for prioritizing her love of travel over marriage, consider where she's coming from. A culture rich in divorce. In the United States, almost 42 million adults have been married more than once. That's up from 22 million in 1980 and 14 million in 1960. Percentage-wise, that means that among adults who are currently married, roughly a quarter (23%) have been married before, compared with 13% in 1960. What a fine example my generation is! Not. Still, there are no doubt more than a few parents out there wondering where they went wrong. Especially in light of a fascinating Pew Research report on marriage. When asked if society is just as well off if people have priorities other than marriage and children, 50% of respondents were OK with that. And of that 50%, 66% were adults between 18 and 29. Religious leaders are deeply concerned for moral reasons. Economists are concerned for our collective future. Studies show marriage is correlated with economic well-being, though it is not clear whether the causality arrow goes from marriage toward economic benefit or in the other direction. A study sponsored by the conservative American Enterprise Institute says: "From an obvious standpoint, households with two adults are likelier to have two incomes, improving well-being." On the other hand, the study points out, people who have money may be "more desirable marriage prospects." Bingo on that point. The millennials I talked with prefer their partners to be debt-free and riding high. They also don't want to burden a husband or wife with their own debt. "Right now, I'm 21 years old. And I'm thousands of dollars in debt," Emily Crille told me. "That wasn't something my parents bore. And it's really hard to plan a wedding, or even think about something like that when you owe so much money, you don't have a job, and you don't have a home." I felt a certain sense of pride at their sassy attitudes. As a child of divorce I never wanted to get married, either -- until I met my husband at 38. But, when I was in my twenties, waiting to marry the right man and forgoing children put me decidedly and uncomfortably in the minority. I heard the whispers: Is there something wrong with her? Is she selfish? Unlovable? Perhaps it is selfish to establish a career, travel and have a child on your own. Or, maybe it's exactly right. Scandinavians are just about there. According to USA Today: "In Norway ... 82% of couples have their first child out of wedlock. The numbers are similarly high for Sweden and Denmark. While many couples marry after having the first or second child, it's clear marriage in parts of Scandinavia is dying." The article also points out that "Norway ranked first and Sweden second in the United Nations' quality-of-life survey for 2004, which rates per capita income, education levels, health care and life expectancy in measuring a nation's well-being. The USA came in eighth." In an effort to understand the joys of "sambo," the term for living together in Scandinavia, my producer reached out to Mikael Anteskog Adler, a 35-year-old man from Stockholm, Sweden. "To put it short," he told us, "marriage costs money (party, clothes, rings, honeymoon trip, etc.) and gives no significant advantages, as there are no economic or legal advantages and no real social pressure to get married, or anyone frowning on premarital sex and cohabitation." Wow. Fifty-year-old Anne Lehes, from Gothenburg, Sweden, told my producer, "I believe that one reason for many Swedes staying single is because this is a secular country, so people think they will become fulfilled by their partner, and inevitably they get disappointed and then they don't think the whole thing is worth it." Maybe Christina Hugosson of Uppsala, Sweden, sums it up best: "The notion that marriage is something that you're pressured into seems horrible to me. ... Marriage should be for love, not a matter of expectations, routine and everyday practicalities." My Kent State millennials -- true romantics -- would agree wholeheartedly with Hugossan. Emily told me as much, "Marriage is about love. It's not about planning or timing, and that's what we're all kind of waiting for." Marriage is about love, but you have to be good partners, too. And, as they say, sometimes love isn't enough. Which brings me back to that idea of a pending marriage apocalypse. Would it be so terrible if we all remained single? If I had remained single? I thought about it. So did my husband. We didn't plan to have children, what was the point? In the end, we made a decision based on love and practicality. A commitment would not only prove our love, but also force us to get through the bad times couples are sure to endure. Eleven years later we have no regrets. But, we are not you and yours. Would a society without marriage be just as well off as one filled with "I dos"? I don't know. But I would love to know if you do. 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Looks like they're going to have it their way.
Burger King is offering to foot the wedding bill for Joel Burger and Ashley King whose impending nuptials and unusual name combination has given them a whopper of national attention. Monday evening, the Illinois couple got the good news via Skype that the fast food chain will paying the expenses and providing gifts for the July 17 wedding in Jacksonville. "When we heard about the happy, Burger-King couple, we felt an overwhelming urge to celebrate their upcoming marriage," Eric Hirschhorn, Burger King Brand spokesman told the State Journal-Register. "On so many levels it felt like fate; they found each other and their story found us." The couple has been known as Burger-King since they were in the fifth grade together, in New Berlin near Springfield. After Joel recently proposed to Ashley at a lake, they decided to take their engagement photos at their local Burger King, which went viral. They reached out to the company to ask if they could use the brand's logo on their wedding favors - and that's when they got an early wedding gift. The Burger King company is also providing the wedding guests yo-yos, gift bags, Mason Jars and Burger King crowns, all personalized for the Burger-King wedding. http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2015/04/07/burger-king-to-pay-for-burger-king-wedding/ So youâve finally decided on a date for your wedding day. Now you start to plan on things that are important for that day. But with all the things to think about, it sometimes happens that you forget those that are very important. Imagine yourself on the day of your wedding. Everything was perfect until you encounter something that you forgot to plan about. No bride should have to go through that scenario. That is why here are the top 5 things every bride must not forget to plan for her wedding: 1. Budget Weddings are usually extravagant. To some extent, it is actually okay for people to spend more on their wedding, a lot more. Still, it is important to carefully consider to what extent you can stretch your budget. You cannot and should not spend more than what your budget allows you. Remember, you still have to live your lives after the wedding day. Bills donât also magically stop coming after your wedding day. If anything, bills increase after your wedding day. So donât spend all the money you have. 2. The wedding dress No, this is not as simple as choosing the dress you want. You have to decide on the dress that suits your motif and if it will look good on you. You will also want to consider on the size of the dress. Letâs face it, there are only two things that will happen to your weight going into your wedding: you lose some or you gain some. Try to make your weight goals realistic and then pick out a dress that will fit you. Also consider the price of the dress. The bride should look beautiful in the dress but she shouldnât spend everything on it. 3. Guest List Finalize your guest list. Determine way ahead of time who you want to have on your wedding and whether or not they will be able to do so. A finalized guest list affects a lot of factors on your wedding like budget, venue, and whether or not your wedding will go smoothly or not. You will have to also determine ahead of time the seating arrangement for your guests. Find out ahead of time how many guest the wedding chapel can accommodate. Remember that one relative who does not like the other relative? If you put them together in one table, your dream wedding might end up a royal rumble. 4. People you need to hire This is one of the 5 things every bride must not forget to plan because the people you hire could either give you a grand wedding or a wedding that people will regret in going. The people that you need to hire are chefs, caterers, photographers, florists, and the band or DJ. You can ask your friends for any recommendation or you can search the web. Make sure to read the reviews people have made. If youâve been to a friendâs wedding and you liked the chef or DJ for that wedding, try to ask if he or she can give you the contact details for that chef or DJ. 5. Prepare for the unexpected The reality is that you can plan and prepare as much as you can but there will always be things that happen that you did not expect. Remember Murphyâs law on interstellar? When this happens, try to relax and calmly come up with a quick solution to put your wedding back on track. Panicking will only aggravate the situation. If you bridesmaids have a hiccup deal with the situation calmly & quickly by using the tips provided here. If your wedding is coming up or youâre helping a friend prepare for her wedding, make sure that you keep in mind the 5 things a bride must not forget to plan for her wedding. WeddingWire believes in the value of ongoing education to support your business growth in the wedding industry, and were excited to share a special offer to save on tickets to the National Association for Catering and Events (NACE) Experience 2016! This three day educational conference for all catering and events industry professionals is being held July 17-20 in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.
Register today and save $50 on your ticket by using promo code WPM50E16, applied during checkout. The NACE Experience includes: Design Experience, a one of a kind interactive demonstration of the latest trends and design tipsCulinary Experience, a multi-sensory experience that lets participants enjoy culinary treasures at their seats as they are being prepared on siteNational speakers from all over the industry, such as personalities from the Food Network, Hard Rock International, and more Dont miss your chance to enjoy breakout sessions, award-winning national keynote speakers, networking with other catering and event professionals, and a Marketplace Expo with top industry companies including WeddingWire! For additionaldetails, view the full schedule, speakers, and travel and hotel information, and follow along on social media with#NACEEXP16. Planning to attend? Youre invited to jointheGreater Fort Lauderdale Convention & Visitors Bureau for their Wedding Planning Destination Experience 2016,immediately following the NACE Experience 2016.Conferenceattendees who attend the event receive one complimentary hotel nightwith their registration! http://problog.weddingwire.com/index.php/events/nace-experience-special-savings-for-weddingwire-members/ The United States' ultimate political power couple, Bill and Hillary Clinton, celebrate 40 years of marriage today. It's been a rocky union at times, especially during the 1990s when the former president faced allegations of infidelity and then an actual affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. But the pair remained together and rededicated themselves to the Clinton Global Foundation, Hillary Clinton's political career, and, recently, a grandchild.
Here's a look at some of the ups and downs of their marriage: 1970: Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham meet at Yale Law, where they are both students. They start dating by 1971. 1975: The couple marries in the living room of their new house in Fayetteville, Arkansas, at a house that Bill Clinton purchased in the hopes that his Clinton would agree to share with him. He had to propose three times before she said yes. "I was terrified about losing my identity and getting lost in the kind of wake of Bill's force-of-nature personality," Clinton told actress Lena Dunham in a recent interview for Dunham's new website. "I actually turned him down twice when he asked me to marry him. He asked, we were in England on a trip after law school graduation. He asked me to marry him. I said, 'You know, I can't say yes. No, I can't do that right now.' And then, about a year later he asked me again, and I said 'No.' He said, 'Well, I'm not asking you again until you're ready to say yes.' And that was a large part of the ambivalence and the worry that I wouldn't necessarily know who I was or what I could do if I got married to someone who was going to chart a path that he was incredibly clear about." 1992: The Clintons appear for a joint interview on "60 Minutes" following allegations that Bill Clinton had a 12-year extramarital affair with a woman named Gennifer Flowers. "I'm not sitting here some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette," Hillary famously told Steve Kroft in that 1992 interview. "I'm sitting here because I love him and I respect him." 1998: President Clinton's affair with intern Monica Lewinsky becomes public. He has described the night he told his wife as his worst personal day at the White House. "She was angry and she was mad, and she was as mad about me not telling her before. I think is - almost as mad, but that I hadn't told her about it as what I'd done," he told 60 Minutes. "I was thinking, first of all, I felt sick that she was having to defend me one more time. And I felt terrible. So I was worried sick that Hillary was defending me. I also believe that she told the truth. Both things were true. I did a bad thing. I made a terrible, moral error," he said. The former president spent months sleeping on the coach while then-first lady Hillary Clinton decided whether she wanted to stay in the relationship. "The first thing we had to do is just get through the days, a few days. We had to let some time pass and Hillary had to decide whether she wanted to stay married to me. And then when she decided she was willing to try, that's when we agreed that we would work together -- we'd take a day a week," he said. Eventually, days turned into weeks. They also went to counseling. First lady and New York U.S. Senator-elect Hillary Rodham Clinton, left, celebrates with President Clinton, right, and their daughter Chelsea, center, during her victory rally in New York, Tuesday, Nov. 7, 2000. AP Photo/Ron Edmonds 2000: Hillary Clinton wins an election to become a senator from New York, shifting the political limelight of the marriage to her side. In a 2014 interview with "BBC Newsnight" in India, Clinton said it amounted to a 52-year pact for the couple. "We were married a very long time when she was always, in effect, deferring to my political career," he said. "I told her when she got elected to the Senate from New York that she'd given me 26 years, and so I intended to give her 26 years. Whatever she wanted to do was fine with me. If she wanted to know my opinion, I would tell her, but she had carte blanche to make whatever decisions she wanted, and tell me what I was supposed to do about it." RHINEBECK, NY - JULY 31: In this handout image provided by Barbara Kinney, (L-R) Marc Mezvinsky, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton and former U.S. President Bill Clinton pose during the wedding of Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky at the Astor Courts Estate on July 31, 2010 in Rhinebeck, New York. Handout, Getty Images 2010: The Clinton's daughter, Chelsea, marries Marc Mezvinsky. "Today, we watched with great pride and overwhelming emotion as Chelsea and Marc wed in a beautiful ceremony at Astor Courts, surrounded by family and their close friends. We could not have asked for a more perfect day to celebrate the beginning of their life together, and we are so happy to welcome Marc into our family," they said in a statement that day. "On behalf of the newlyweds, we want to give special thanks to the people of Rhinebeck for welcoming us and to everyone for their well-wishes on this special day." 2014: The Clintons become grandparents for the first time when Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky give birth to a daughter, Charlotte. This photo provided by Clinton spokesman Kamyl Bazbaz shows former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, left, and former President Bill Clinton, right with their granddaughter Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky on Saturday, Sept. 27, 2014, at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York. AP Photo/Office of President Clinton, Jon Davidson http://www.cbsnews.com/news/bill-and-hillary-clinton-celebrate-40-years-of-marriage/ |
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